Small Talk

Every single relationship starts with small talk. 

There are two parts to it. 

The first is asking good questions.

Ask one broad, contextual question and follow up with two or three more. 

Then ask an emotional question that is relevant to what you are discussing.

Conversations stay surface level when emotions are not involved.

The moment you ask someone how they feel about something, the conversation deepens.

The second is giving generous answers.

When someone asks what you do or where you live, do not just say "I work at x company doing y."

Give them many different directions to jump in on, and tell them how you feel about whatever you are discussing. 

Something like:

"Well, I used to work at x company doing y, and I really enjoyed it, but after five years I felt like I needed a change and now I work at this company doing this, which I really enjoy even if it is very challenging sometimes. What about you?" 

And you'll see how amazing your conversations become.

After just 5-10 minutes, both of you are comfortable and present with each other.

Ask good questions. Give generous answers.